The Promise

It was April 14th of last year that turned out to be for me, the start of a whole new beautiful life. Everything changed. My husband of forty years had left for heaven at the end of 2022. He was a kind, big-hearted man that never met a stranger. He and the Lord are the biggest reasons I am who I am. He left a beautiful legacy, and I am just one of the many lives he impacted.

Prior to his passing, I had grieved for approximately three long, dark years. Then on April 1st, it felt as if the sun began to come out. Peeking through the clouds, I felt the warmth on my skin like I had rarely experienced. I woke up to an expectancy and excitement for my future, and an uncontainable joy that noticeably bubbled over. I had abundant peace throughout. Now, the joy has turned to laughter that cannot be contained. At that point, I decided to take some time to see if the Lord would reveal to me His plan forward, because I didn’t want my own. I sat on the beach for a few days alone to seek the Lord. I had no agenda, only to do what I had always done; to love the Lord and do His work. I had a picture of my future as Anna at the altar (Luke 2:36-37). A widow in my old(er) age doing the stuff. I’d told this to my sisters and family more than once, regarding when it was, well, just me. Little did I know God was about to make all things new.

On that trip, I had a dream. In a condo on Fort Walton Beach, Florida, toes in the sand and tears flowing, I pondered the dream.  In it, I found myself at a travel agency, sitting at a table with brochures in hand. I was being asked to move to Danville, Kentucky. Interestingly, I made a case for moving back to Florida instead. I had a choice. We always have a choice.

In reality, I thought, perhaps I’ll retire sometime in the next few years, and move to be near grands in D.C. Or, perhaps to Florida, my home state and where a lot of my precious family live. I didn’t understand the dream, nor what the Lord was saying. I receive dreams often and understand how God speaks to me through them most of the time, but this one was a puzzle. My late husband and I had a five-year season in Danville prior to 2010. It was a place we truly loved and talked of as the best season we’d ever had regarding “community” at Cornerstone Assembly of God and the ministry of Isaiah House. The CAG pastor and his wife were dear to our heart, a lovely couple, and the people likewise were very special to us. We had kept in touch with several folks, and other than that, the dream didn’t make sense. So, I shelved it.

Back at work in Tennessee, about the third week in May, the Lord continued the initial conversation regarding Danville and Cornerstone. The word “cornerstone” came up several times that week. At a weekly work staff meeting, my coworker/financial advisor friend began talking about Jesus as the Chief Cornerstone out of the blue. At the time, I thought it odd. The next day, a business card appeared sitting on my desk with a local business named Cornerstone regarding some office work we needed.

I noticed on social media that Cornerstone Assembly of God in Danville was having its annual Memorial Day Picnic. My late husband and I had attended every one of them in our prior years, and it had always been a great time of fellowship and fun. I then reached out to friends to see if we could meet up. Even more unusual, I noticed a comment of Tom’s on Facebook that struck me. We hadn’t connected with the Lane’s in years. I mentioned to him that I was thinking of attending the service that weekend and asked if he was preaching. He said yes, he was, and asked if I’d like to have lunch to catch up after the service. I said… um… sure.

Regarding my new singleness/widowhood, I purposely did not get on any dating sites. I told the Lord if He had someone for me, He would have to message me because I was not interested in the whole commercial/superficial (how it felt to me) dating scene. I said to the Lord, just “ping” me. He knew what I meant. And funny thing, that’s exactly what God did. Tom reached out on social media.

I am comfortable by myself. I have never been that person that can’t be alone. I actually enjoy the solitude at times. But lonely I had been for several years. It was the newer, softer side of me to need others. During all the hard, I think I had toughened up because it was needed at the time. And I am a bit embarrassed to say, I did make a list of what I was looking for if I were to ever have another God-sent husband. It was really in jest, though. Lord, You couldn’t possibly bring me what I was willing to say “yes” to. The list was long and specific. The bar was high. I quickly shredded it and thought nothing more of it. God surely laughed.

That weekend, everything changed. After the service, we went to lunch. Although a pleasant lunch, the entire time I thought this man is grieving, and I should not be talking to him. No woman needs to be with him right now. It was a sacred moment for him regarding the loss of his beloved of forty-seven years.

At the picnic, I sat at a table under the pavilion with friends from another church that met me there. We had worked together when we lived in Danville back in the day. I commented to them that Pastor was grieving hard. They agreed. I visited with some other church members for a bit, and then left for my hotel.

On my way there, I got a phone call that my grandson was in from Texas at Tom’s kids’ home on the farm property. I turned the car around and spent most of the evening visiting and reminiscing with him and the kids. What a sweet time. I then left for my hotel… again. On my way for the second time, now considerably late, I received a call from Tom inviting me back to join him on his porch for a visit. So, I turned the car around—again.

The rest of the evening we told stories and laughed. It was nice; we enjoyed each other’s company. And since I’d be heading out of town in the morning, we thought we could have breakfast before I got on the road. And so, we did.

He picked me up at my hotel and shared the song Worthy of My Song. The music filled the car, and Jesus felt so very near. We cried together, ate, talked about our marriages, then said goodbye. On my way home I said to the Lord, he is a nice man but grieving hard, I will not be anything more than a friend. It wouldn’t be right.

The next two weeks, we video called every night for hours upon hours. We had so many things in common and looked forward to our next non-dating video call. We both had been in a very similar hard, dark season of time, and yet experienced God’s faithfulness throughout. We shared how new and unfamiliar everything seemed. And how ill-prepared we both felt to navigate it. The companionship, although long distance, was sweet. It felt that I was up the road a bit on the healing journey. It was God’s grace we both were not in the pitch-black darkness at the same time. The calls and texts escalated, and we both looked forward to our nights chatting about everything, nothing and getting to know each other a lot more. He then decided to come to Tennessee to visit for a few days.

When the long-awaited weekend arrived, Tom pulled into my driveway with a huge smile on his face. He shared later he had butterflies turning on to my road. I learned when he goes on a road trip, he is in no hurry at all, the four-hour drive took over six hours! He had preached that morning and was ready to relax and have a nice meal. What happened next, I did not see coming. When he came around the corner into my kitchen, a light was over his head. Tom was actually glowing.  Right then, I heard the Lord say in that still small voice that He is so good at…this is Me. It felt like a marked moment. Still, I was reluctant, mostly because it was way too soon. He likened his life to being in a basement, not seeing the light of day for ages, and that meeting and being with me was like a crack of light streaming through the door. The light caused his eyes to squint but were reminded of the light of day.

Several calls later confirmed my feeling that it was not the time. Nevertheless, the Lord was beginning to repeat Himself and what He was saying was in fact the exact opposite. My coworker and friend/financial advisor in the office would be the next to bring more regarding the church and the man. He said the Lord impressed him that I was the balm of Gilead. What? He proceeded to teach me something I had not known about this type of healing balm; that it is specific to death and grief. I was to be that for Tom. I was to help him through the grief. My friend/coworker had no idea about the Danville/Cornerstone conversation. I knew God was speaking, and although I wasn’t wanting to hear it, I couldn’t un-hear it. Yes, Lord. Turns out, my “list” paled in comparison to what is in my giant of a man. He is humble, good, and kind, spiritual, sensitive and deep, masculine yet soft, and funny. He is perfect for me, and most importantly, God sent.

Fast forward to the 4th of July weekend. Tom’s daughter and son- in-law were playing music at an event in Nashville and Tom invited me to join them. He warned me that he wrote a song that he would sing/say at the event, that was our story…. in front of everyone! Gulp. The song was incredibly heart-felt, and he proposed right before the fireworks went off. I could only say yes. It was absolutely fast; only five weeks after we began talking. He will tell you that after he returned home from our weekend in Tennessee, he inquired of the Lord. The Lord spoke to him and said, “she is my gift to you.” For him, it was settled then. I would be his wife.

Of course, I knew this would be much more than just being a couple. This meant kingdom life, full time ministry. We were presented with the real ask, for which there really was no choice. In all reality, this is about the fulfilling of God’s plan for both of us, I think. My heart beats for the things of God. I have no earthly desire to build anything but the eternal. This is the redemption of promises and restoration of things left undone. There have been several prophetic words over our union prior to and on our wedding date of November 4th, and one very significant word from God since our big day.

God has begun an entirely new season at Cornerstone. In this short eight-month period, we have come to understand that we are being prepared for something much bigger than us. There have been staff changes, some reordering, ministries added, and direction given. But it will be bigger than just one church.

“I am humbled I have been invited to this God story. I am more than excited and expectant. Although the story is unfolding, this I know: I am in the perfect place doing what God has poured into me to do. This is my destiny. This is our promise.”

God has brought more love to our life than we can contain. I had no idea this kind of life existed. Surely this is the beginning of His unfolding promise for me and for my husband, and more importantly, for the kingdom and for others. Our prayer is that we walk worthy of the call (Ephesians 4), to steward and host His presence well. “Yes, Lord” is all we can say. You are worthy of it ALL.

 One thing I have desired of the Lord, that will I seek, all the days of my life to behold the beauty of the Lord and to inquire of His temple. Psalm 27:4